Second year. Completed. I guess I can be considered a third year student now? Still seems surreal. I mean I can vividly recall walking from math class to gym in third grade, wishing I was older, taller, and cooler; an adult pretty much. But now as I am older and an adult, with real adult issues and responsibilities, I miss the simpler times. Although I feel as though every person experiences this cliche epiphany, it still holds just as much truth and rationality. The second year of my time in the honors program, my time in my engineering major, and my time at UC has provided me with more growth and life lessons than I would have thought of. I assumed this year would be easier but similar to last year. I was unmistakably wrong.
Classes were tough; but this really was no surprise. I faced hardheaded and careless professors along with incredible, motivating, and caring ones. I had classes I worked endlessly to understand alongside ones that just clicked with my brain naturally. I found a solid group of other students in my major to work with and to endure the wrath of engineering with. Finally, I was interacting with people who really did understand the difficulty of our major. This year I also experienced my first co-op; Working forty hours a week, eight hours a day, making an hourly wage was a complete 180 degree flip from my routine school week; no homework, no exams, and a lot less stress. I had time to relax, spend time with people, dedicate myself to my officer position in my sorority, and over all get myself back in check. I loved the work I did. I worked in the architecture department of an architecture and engineering firm, assisting on design projects on research and development, manufacturing, office, and retail facilities. I learned so much more about a field of work that my major applies to, and I truly enjoyed stepping into work every day. I never felt like I was at a job, which I think is a good sign.
I also had the opportunity of travel this year- and it changed my life. For three weeks in December, I traveled with my family in Southeast Asia; we visited Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore. Five incredibly different, rich, and beautifully cultured countries. I ate some of the most amazing food, met the funniest and most genuine people, and made lifetime memories with my family which brought us closer. Although I probably spent 40 hours flying total, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Touring the cities and learning about the customs, religion, people, and overall culture was eye opening. Having traveled before, I expected thi, but it still was amazing. From the beauty on Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, to the ancient, extraordinary temples like Angkor Wat in Cambodia, to the night markets of Chiang Mai and Bangkok, to the serenity of Malaysia, and the structure and diversity of Singapore, no minute was gone to waste during my three-week visit. I cannot wait to return and experience more and more in the future. I also traveled to Guatemala on a service trip during spring break, which counted as my first honors experience. There I learned a lot about myself as well as my call to serve others- it had been a while since I went on any type of service trip, and I had forgotten the importance it held in my life. Traveling has always been such a strong focus and passion in life, and I had yearned the need for it so badly; I experienced different people and cultures so much this past semester, and I know I will continue to my next three years at UC.
It felt like so may good things were happening, which was very exciting and new and fresh.
But along with good times also comes struggle and tests of oneself and the friendships and relationships around you. And I was not immune to these.
I first moved into an apartment; five girls, three rooms. The best word to describe it was interesting. Two of the girls I had lived with before, and two were my other good friends. I was sharing a room with one of my best friends who was in the same sorority as me; we clicked so well, always sharing fun crazy moments and stomach-hurting deep laughs. But being friends with someone is different than living with them; suddenly you are twenty times closer, and as someone i had really only known for a year before, our friendship was tested, failed, mended, then tested over and over again countless times. I had never expected one of my best friends to treat me certain ways that she did; from only a few weeks in I was concerned to be living with her the rest of the year. We clicked as friends but malfunctioned as roommates, the exposure of being around one another all the time was too much for our friendship to come out the same as it came in. And I let it drag month by month, with hopes of it getting better, and it would get better, only the get worse later on. I kept endlessly forgiving, compensating, restarting with her. I honestly felt like I was constantly working to tip-toe around her, making sure to do everything right, while she could not care to do the same for me, until one day I was tired and worn out from my inability to do everything right, and to be the perfect friend. I started to pull away and keep my distance. I constantly tried to fix and fix, thinking what I could do differently, to the point that I realized that there is not one thing I could change to make her treat me any other way. I was in a toxic friendship with someone I used to share everything with, and it was really hard to be the person to slowly end it. But it was necessary. I have never had a friend like this, and it was never something i expected either. But with every obstacle, failure, and closed door comes a lesson and a new door to open. I opened a new chapter with two other people I became incredibly close with; these women challenge me, support me, and reaffirm me daily; a service I never received from my other friend before. We push one another to think differently and be better people, not tear each other down due to anger, hurt, or jealousy. I learned what I truly need in friends, and what I don't need as well. I once read this message from a play from Tyler Perry as Madea - surprisingly it was one of the most grounded and honest metaphors I had ever heard. Here is how is goes: "I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:
LEAF PEOPLE: Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.
BRANCH PEOPLE:There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.
ROOT PEOPLE: If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you. Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?"
This rang so deeply inside me that I was kind of shocked when I read it; I realized my roommate/friend was either a really strong leaf or a pretty weak branch. And the friendships I had formed this year were truly my "root people". But I know that without me going through the hardship of realizing my friend was a leaf-branch, I may have never really found my root people. And from that, I Iearned to appreciate the past, current, and future people who will be leaves and branches in my life.
From last year, I realized to regret nothing I do; everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens is meant to happen; dwelling on the past will do me no good. So this year, I just want to carry over my lessons to learn for the next years to come.
This year, the three biggest pieces of advice I can give to myself are:
Learn from those around you; whether people may try to tear you down or build you up, they will always teach a lesson.
Keep traveling more and more. You need adventure and diversity in your life to keep you sane, grounded, and happy.
Expand your circle; meet more and more new people outside of your comfort zone. These people will add diversity and a break from your regular routine.
I want to take all of these pieces of advice to apply to this next year. Throughout this semester, I experienced many people who expressed themselves as leaves, branches, and roots; I formed many relationships and loves, and lost relationships and loves as well; I experienced sadness and hurt as well as excitement and joy; but most of all I found the people I care about and want to be around. I hope to try new things and push myself further out of my comfort zone, to experience more new and thrilling adventures with people I love, and I hope to continuously learn and grow from the people and experiences that will encompass me.